tumblr is a lot like singing tbh
yeah because you can only hit like 3 notes
If I ever seem arrogant or anything like that, please know I’m joking 100% I have zero self confidence and I sometimes pretend that I think im dead cool and awesome because I’m actually terrible so it’s mildly funny
lms if you’ve ever drank water or hijacked a school bus
you know girls can tell when you look at their boobs
i don’t care how quickly you glance, 1 second is like 5 seconds in boob time
nice legs daisy dukes makes a man go im sorry but youre going to have to go home and change thats inappropriate for school and the boys are distracted
Saying that a man and a woman can’t be “just” friends is like assuming that a bisexual or pansexual can’t have any friends at all because they might get a sudden urge to fuck them.
You’ve found out my secret.
I just want to bang everybody all the time.
i can nt breath this old man who has like the biggest onion ever is so pr ou d of it
LOOK HOW HAPPY HIS ONION MAKES HIM
this makes my heart smile
I really want a science fiction story where aliens come to invade earth and effortlessly wipe out humanity, only to be fought off by the wildlife.
They were expecting military resistance. They weren’t counting on bears.
Canada’s time to shine has come
Think about the stuff in Australia though
my sisters dad opened the freezer and a blob of ice fell on his foot and hurt him and he was like yelling and hopping and shit and I was like hey maybe you should put some ice on that
my sisters dad
there is a such thing as half-siblings hello